How to Succeed in Making Lasting Change in Your Life

Well, the New Year is off to a great start and I am hoping that you are all crushing your New Year’s Resolutions.  Right? Maybe not so much...

I recently learned that 97% of the people who make New Year’s Resolutions break them by January 15.  

Two weeks really?

Frankly, I am not at all surprised.

We throw a resolution out there at midnight while drinking Champagne like it’s some birthday wish and we think that it will magically happen like waiting to see the ever elusive Unicorn or Narwhal.

We might join the gym, or give up wine for a week, maybe you buy a juicer and then two weeks go by and you’re right back sipping wine on the couch binge watching Netflix.

Sound familiar?

I “Googled” the top 10 New Year’s Resolutions and no shocker what came up. Number 1 – diet and eating better, 2 – exercise more, and 3- lose weight.  While all of these three things combined would lead you to a life that would be filled with more health and vitality than you could ever imagine, the question remains, why do people fail at achieving this so often?  If people were successful, these would not still be the top three resolutions made each year.

I will tell you why I believe people fail because the rule system that they have unconsciously set up around their goals sabotages their success.

To me, all of these resolutions are under the umbrella of what I would call health and vitality. Getting in shape is just one component of the equation and when we focus on just one thing it is short sided.

Getting in shape isn’t just about a dress size, or looking good in a swimsuit because you are going on vacation in 3 months or starting the latest diet fad to drop 20 pounds in a month.  It is far more than that. These things do not work long term and they never will.

How many of you have done this only to gain the weight back or fall back to your old habits? I know that I have.

So how do you create lasting change in your life?

What works is a change of your mindset and your belief system.  As my mentor Tony Robbins says, CHANGE YOUR STORY CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Health and vitality is the cornerstone of your life. If you don’t have your health, you have nothing. And the earlier you start your health and vitality journey, the better!

I know this first hand.

You see, 7 Years ago, I was diagnosed with a very rare tumor disorder that changed my life forever. I will not go into all the details, but in October of 2012, I had to have a very radical and painful surgery to remove a tumor that was growing over my heart. The surgeon lopped off 3 of my ribs, cut out my pec muscle removed all my breast tissue and took a sternal saw to my chest and literally popped out the left side of my chest wall. This resulted in 7 more surgeries, countless months on heavy pain medications, rehabilitation, PT, acupuncture, essential oils depression, anxiety, a very messy divorce and a lot of crying. My plane was crashing and I had no control over it.

Today I am still dealing with this condition but I do not let it define my life. And in the process of trying to understand why this all happened to me, I got really clear about the value of health and vitality in my life. Getting sick was a gift to me in so many ways.

I share this story with you to let you know that for anyone, getting in shape after any kind of life experience can be very difficult. After a C-section, having a baby, the loss of a parent, or a devastating health diagnoses. This is why I believe there is so much suffering around getting and staying in shape. Because we do it for only one reason. That is only one-third of the equation.

When we shift our belief system from the size of the dress, or the number on the scale, or getting in the bikini for vacation or back into the skinny jeans post-baby, to truly believing that your health and vitality is in direct correlation to your mind, body, and spirit, that is when you create lasting change in your life.

When you change your mindset around this concept, set rules to be successful, and consistently do the work, this is when you create the lasting change you are seeking.

This is when you get in shape, this is when the weight drops off, and this is when you feel better because through exercise you are releasing all the feel-good hormones in your brain. This is when you make the time to make it part of your daily life, this is when you start saying YES to yourself and NO to things that take you away from this non-negotiable. This is when it becomes a habit this is when your entire body system benefits - your mind, body, and spirit.

So, let’s talk about rules.

The rules are actually more important than the goal itself. Here is what I mean by that.

The problem is most people create a rule structure around health and vitality that is so rigid that when they don’t follow the rules they feel like a failure and give up.

When you create rules that are easy to follow, you feel successful and when you feel successful you keep doing it. It is a simple form of rewarding good behavior.

Let me give you an example so you can better understand what I am talking about.

Here are my rules for health and vitality.

I feel healthy and full of vitality anytime I am:
Moving my body OR,
Eating healthy food, OR
Working out, doing yoga, hiking OR
Taking my supplements OR
Getting good sleep  

Notice that I don’t say the word AND?

By changing the word from AND to OR we automatically create space and grace for ourselves to be successful. Can you imagine if the ORs were all ANDS?

I feel healthy and full of vitality anytime I am:
Moving my body AND
Eating healthy food AND
Working out, doing yoga, hiking AND
Taking my supplements, AND
Getting good sleep

If we tried to do this in our lives we would just say screw this, give up and go right back to the couch with our glass of wine binging on Netflix.

Today, health and vitality is my number one value in my life because I know without it I have nothing,  I cannot achieve what I was put on this earth to do without it. So I make sure to do one or more of my rules for health and vitality each day and bam – I’m all good!

The reality is, the quality of your discipline is more important than the quality of the activity.  Keeping your routine going is way more important than what you do. If you only have 10 minutes to work out that is better than not at all. If you eat healthy all day but have a couple of glasses of wine on a Friday night that is better than not eating healthy at all.

It is the many small steps you take CONSISTENTLY that will get you to your goal. There is no silver bullet, magic trick, one shot Sally that will help you reach your goals. Nope, nada, no way.

There is a great book called the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy that I would suggest that you read.  The premise is similar to that of compounding interest. The little things you do overtime COMPOUND into the greater thing. Small choices + consistency + time = significant results.  The other key concept is that you always take 100 percent responsibility for everything that happens to you. No being a victim in your life. It is your life, own it and do what you need to do.

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” ― Darren Hardy, The Compound Effect

It is the consistent, and repetitive actions that you take each day that will ultimately net you the results that you desire. I challenge you to rewrite your rules around health and vitality, start doing something each day and see how you feel on December 31, 2019. I look forward to hearing all about it!


What’s Your Vision for 2019?

Well, another year has passed us by. #goodbye2018.

I sorta have a love hate relationship with this year ending. I had some pretty big health challenges that I am glad to be able to put behind me, but I also had some amazing adventures and my first born went off to the college of his dreams and is thriving. All in all, life is really good.

But didn’t it go by so fast? It seems that every year I live on this planet, time is just flying by.  I still cannot believe I have a 20-year old son. Where did that time go? It was strange this fall walking by the play equipment at University Village and saying to him, “I used to bring you here to play all the time when you were a little boy and today I am sending you off to UW.” It was a very sentimental and yet inconceivable moment for me.

I know many, if not all of you reading this have had some personal challenges this year. I want you to know that I am sitting in empathy with you and what you are going through. Maybe it was a healthcare issue as well, or the loss of a family member, a cherished pet, your job, your marriage, your youth, loss of faith in our country, or loss of time.  

Loss has an interesting way of making sure that we are standing at full attention, face forward in the mirror saying now what?  

Loss sucks.

I believe that what is brought into our lives is a gift. It sometimes takes a very long time to see and understand that, but I have had some of my biggest breakthroughs when I was at rock bottom and losing everything.

In spending the last days of 2018 ruminating on all that has happened FOR you this year, I hope that you choose to find a gift in some of the losses.

As we get ready to countdown the last moments of 2018, let's talk more about time.

In my work, I am always hearing from my clients “I don’t have enough time.” From my perspective when we say this, we are talking about something that we perceive to have lost before we even had it. How many times have you heard or said yourself, “I don’t have enough time to learn to paint, or to play with my kids or to go on a date with my husband.”  All of that is in the future. We are gaming ourselves into thinking that time is commodity.

“Our greatest opportunity to live our most beautiful life is to understand and redefine the concept of time.” Heidi Wells

Time is something that we think and feel there is never enough of. Or, for some people there is too much of it. Just take a day or two and see how many times people reference time. It may come out as where did the time go? or I am so busy, or wow that day went fast or today never seemed to end.  These are all just conversations about time.

I challenge you to go on a time diet. Just stop talking about anything to do with time. Become aware of how much you talk about it. The thing is, the more we say we don’t have the time, the Universe responds by keeping us busy. Remember that where or mind goes, energy flows.

Time is an interesting concept to me right now. My kids like to remind me that my life is half over, and it has caused me to reflect on the “time” I have left.

I recently learned about a concept called Einstein Time. If you have read the book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks you will understand what I am talking about.

Einstein Time basically is the concept that we create our time. Time doesn’t come from some external time vending machine that we keep plunking quarters into madly so we can get it all done. All this does is create stress, anxiety and depression because we will NEVER get it all done. When we are on Einstein Time, we take full responsibility for making our time. It’s ours after all. Nobody “owns” our time, only we do.

As I look forward to the next year and all that is ahead of me, I am taking this new concept of time right into 2019 with full force.

Making or owning our time requires a regular practice of internal and external boundaries. The beautiful thing is we have the choice in how we spend our time and thus our energy. Boundaries are the only way to protect and use our time the way we want to. This is a shift from time management to self-management. You might want to write that concept down.

My question to you is, are you spending your time on the right stuff? Time spent moving you forward, lighting yourself up with joy, crossing off bucket list items, growing, expanding your consciousness, loving and learning?

To make sure that I am spending my time on the “right stuff”, I always start the year with a vision board process. This is exciting for me as it involves dreaming and scheming and listening to my heart about all that I desire in the new year. I then find images or words to represent these things and build a “vision” of the year to come.

I am never sure how, when or where these things or experiences will come from. I simply trust that the Universe is abundant and if I stay focused on my vision board daily with my thoughts, words and actions, somehow it will all come true.

Now for some of you, this might seem a bit woo-woo but it works. It has been a practice by some of the most successful people in history. Read the book the Secret, Think and Grow Rich, or The Game of Life and How to Play It. The concept of manifesting all that we desire is available to all of us at any time.

Take some time over the holidays to sneak away with a cup of tea or a glass of wine and a stack of magazines and start tearing out pictures that speak to your soul. Glue them to a board and look at it every day. Believe that you deserve and are worthy of all that you desire and see what happens in 2019. I think by this time next year you will be amazed!

For anyone interested, I am hosting my third annual vision workshop called VISION 2019 - Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Beautiful. The workshop will be held on January 27, 2019 from 1:00 pm - 5:30 pm. You can register online at I hope to see you there! And, Happy New Year!


PS - Book your spot at Vision 2019 before December 31 and get the Early Bird Special! Book Here

Ask for what you really want

Why is it that we want, desire and crave things in our life that never seem to come our way?

Is it because we don’t deserve it? Or we are not lucky or everything bad always seems to come our way?

The answer is no. We just haven’t mastered using the Law of Attraction.

I spent many years wanting and maybe even one could call it, coveting (which I know is a SIN #mybad) someone else’s life, education, body, job, car, you name it, I may have wanted it.

While there is nothing at all wrong with wanting more in one’s life, I was just trying to get it in all the wrong ways.

And let me share with you, bad stuff happens when you try to get it in the wrong way!

I didn’t understand the real power of manifesting my dreams, desires and cravings though the Law of Attraction.

If you have read the Secret, The Game of Life and how to Play It, or Think and Grow Rich, you know what I am talking about.

If you have not, just stay with me.

There is a universal law called The Law of Attraction.

Simply put the Law of Attraction is what you focus on you attract into your life.

When I learned and studied this law, I was like why the hell didn’t someone teach me this in kindergarten??

Napoleon Hill quote.png

Now that I understand the law, manifesting what I desire in my life is effortless. Well almost…

The process of using the Law of Attraction is simple in concept but it requires some work on your part.

The Law works via energy. Everything in the Universe is energy. We use the Law of Attraction to exchange energy and vibrate at a certain level.

When you are thinking and feeling happy, grateful, joyful, excited, and positive, you are sending very high vibrations to the Universe. And the Universe will respond as such. Remember that like attracts like.

When you are thinking negative, sad, depressing, angry, stressful thoughts, you are sending low vibrations to the Universe and yep, you got it, the Universe is going to send it right back to you.

Make this note to yourself right now: The Universe does not discriminate between high or low vibrations, or good or bad thoughts. It just sends you what you are thinking, feeling and saying.

Now that you understand the basic concept of the Law of Attraction, here are a few tips to begin to use this powerful tool to create all that you want in your life.

Start changing the thoughts in your head.
Make sure you think in positive terms. Where your mind goes energy flows.

Start changing the language you use to talk about yourself or your life.
Change it from negative to positive.
Don’t say I am fat. Say I love how strong and slim my body is and then do the work you need to do. If you are working out everyday but you keep saying to yourself or you keep thinking… “ I am so fat.” Guess what? You will be fat. The universe is just giving you want you are thinking about.

Take the time to think about what you want more of in your life.
You can find 5 minutes to sit and think about what it is you want. Then get into the mental and physical space of how it would actually feel to have these things in your life. I like to do this work with a Vision board. I find it helpful to have a visual representation of what I want in my life. Mine is hanging in my office so I see it everyday.

As we near the end of the year, my hope for you is that you will take these easy to use tools with you into the holiday season to create a more abundant, joyful and beautiful life.

Time’s a wastin… Get busy manifesting all that you desire!


P.S. If you have not signed up for my VISION 2019 Workshop, then hop online and do it today. The early bird special is ending soon and space is limited. Click Here to reserve your spot!

Sometimes you gotta breakdown to breakthrough

Have you ever had a breakdown so bad that you thought you may never recover, move forward or stay in stuck in that dark place for the rest of your life? 

If you are a human being and are totally honest with yourself, my guess is you answered yes to all of the above. 


The reality is that life has set us up for this. Life is against us from the moment we are born. We freely choose to decide if life happens to us or for us. When we live in the later mindset, we know that our lives give us the opportunity to learn, grow and up-level to a higher consciousness.  It is through the gift of our breakdowns that we get to the upside in our lives.

For me, this summer has been filled with so many breakdowns and breakthroughs. I have traveled for much of the summer which put me in places out of my comfort zone, it helped be break limiting beliefs about women and travel and I was also able to cross a few things off my bucket list. #killingtwobirds. I also had to deal with very serious health situation that pushed me into several breakdowns and breakthroughs. 

Experiencing new cultures, having DEEP and meaningful conversations with my girlfriends that challenge my very being and the bullshit stories I have been telling myself my whole life, lying in MRI tubes and sitting in doctors offices, allowed for some pretty big breakdowns and breakthroughs. #blessed. 

While this work is hard and emotionally challenging, it has pushed me to move higher on the Pyramid of Mastery towards Contribution and Spirituality. Breakthroughs help us to shift our mindset, change our language patterns, understand what part of us is in change, and, most importantly, they revel how to shift to make the situation better. 

Do you know what is so amazing about breakdowns? When you are stuck with a limiting belief, and you have a breakdown and you are feeling alone, helpless, filled with depression or anxiety, the best thing to do is to stay with your thoughts and beliefs and ask, "is this true?" 99% of the time it is not true. When you answer honestly you will uncover the truth that some "part" of you is protecting you from something. Do not miss the importance of dealing with this part of you rather than numb the pain of it though, food, exercise, alcohol, binge watching Netflix, drugs or whatever your numbing method of choice is. 

Stay with it and keep questioning it. Be curious. If you can do this, you will be blessed with the answer you are seeking. When we can get quiet, clear and question what is true, the answer revels itself. It is really that easy. It was all inside of us already.

You see when we are stressed, scared, angry, depressed or have anxiety, we fall back into our old patterns, we allow a part of us to run the show and that part keeps us stuck in our limiting beliefs. 

Within us we have many parts. The warrior who gets shit done, the little girl who is playful and fun, the pragmatic one who is always putting the kibosh on fun and is serious and methodical, or the soft empathetic one who has a heart so big they want to save the world. They all exist within us and no you are not Sybil! To have breakthroughs you have to understand that this is part of our human makeup. 

So this week begin to just be aware of your emotions and ask yourself is this true and who is running the show right now? Then take some deep breaths and sit with it. If you can call upon the right part of you to deal with the situation at hand and maybe send some other parts of you on a permanent vacation, you will be having  breakthrough after breakthrough! 



Letting go of your BS


For many of us who live in suffering and are trying to make our lives better, our dreams come true, or just make it through to the next day, often have a hard time believing that there is a power or force outside of our control that could catapult us to what we are desiring. 

I am here to tell you that as a recovering control addict, there is NOTHING you can control but you. It only took me 50 years to realize this but now that I am in  what I call, "control recovery" I have found my life to be much lighter in many ways. 

You see before this year, my highest value in life was control. If I could control everything then I would not get hurt, I could have everything my way, I could make all of the decisions and always be right. Once I realized this ,BS ( Belief System) was not only hurting me but making me miserable in my life, it opened up a world of possibility that I never imagined. 

Women tend to want a lot of control in their lives. I believe this is because we live in fear and anxiety and one of our highest values is security and safety so, having control makes sense. We are under the illusion that by controlling everything and everyone, life will be OK or safe. There are even women who say that control is not important to them, but they covertly control in a very passive way. Trust me I have seen it all... I am an expert and a recovering control addict. And we wonder why we live in suffering? 

We have been traumatized by our past life events, believing that these things have happened to us not FOR us and if we take the control, these things will never happen again. What if you were to begin today to look at these life events as gifts?  Love what is happening for you. Try and find the lesson in each situation. How can you grow from this? What will you do different next time? Could you have taken a different path that would have led a different outcome? Be curious about it. When you are curious that's when the juicy learning in your life begins to happen.

So, what happens when you let go of the illusion that you are in control and believe that there is a higher power - the Universe, God, Source Power, whatever you believe in, working 24/7 to assist you in getting all that you desire? We are afraid to trust the very source of creation to guide us to our life's purpose. Instead we are mistrusting and fearful and then we get in our head thinking we are in control.  Why might you ask? Because in this complicated, technology driven, fake world we live in today, we have lost our faith. Faith that the most powerful force is your wingman and is always there to assist you in getting that new job, having a baby, moving across the county for the love of your life, getting the body you want, taking your family on vacation to Hawaii, or what ever it is you want. 

Let go of your limiting BS and know in your heart that the once you create your new BS, you will accomplish all that you desire in 2018. 


My New Year Freak Out List

Hello beautiful ladies!  I am super busy preparing for the VISION 2018 event that will be held next Saturday. We have a few seats left if you are interested. I can promise you this will change your life. Book your spot here but hurry as there is some pre-work you have to do to maximize your results. 

Let's face it, last year was a bit challenging in many ways. I am just praying and sending out good vibes for 2018 to be the best year yet for all of us!

Lets make 2018 the best year ever!!

Lets make 2018 the best year ever!!

So as we enter a new year, I wanted to share with you some of my new favorite things that are making my life more beautiful everyday! Remember that beauty comes from within but sometimes a girl needs a little assistance! 


The Hobo Handbag
I have been traveling a lot and wanted the perfect lightweight bag to take to NYC. I have never owned a hobo style handbag and I found this little puppy and fell in love! It is the perfect size, it has extra room for a hat and gloves (which I NEEDED in NYC) and my favorite part, you can actually see inside!! If you have not tried a hobo style bag give one a spin. This paticular one is on sale for 1/2 off right now at


Kevin Murphy Hair Products
I have many challenges with my hair but I have found a product line I love. These products are not cheap but they net results. I am currently using the Angle wash and rinse for colored hair, Doo Over, Bedroom Hair, Shimmer Me Blonde and Hair Resort. The cool thing is the website has a product matchmaker for your hair type. Check it out at


CLARINS Double Serum
You know when the cosmetic lady grabs you at Bloomingdales and sits your butt in a chair for a makeover you have some issues! Seriously the CLARINS lady grabbed me as I was walking by and said "Darling your skin is so dry." Um ya it is -15 outside with blowing wind! So I was a sucker for buying this product but so glad I did. It truly is amazing. It is one of the top rated serums on the market. You only need one pump per application. This goes a long way.... 

The Game of Life AND How to Play It
This book was written in 1925 by Florence Shinn. This book has many gems in it and for those personal development junkies, this is a must have in your library. She hits on all the major points of how to attract what you want into your life! Thanks my friend Julie Preas for giving it to me! You can listen to it on YouTube here


A Personal Trainer
This year at Tony Robbins Date with Destiny I committed to health and vitality as my top value in my life. So when I came home I immediately hired a personal trainer. Best decision ever! Just in a few weeks, I feel stronger, leaner and more powerful. Not to mention, I have lost inches, not so much weight as my goal is to build muscle now that I am a "woman of a certain age." Anyway, if you can afford it do it! Or get an online program and an accountability partner. No more excuses ladies, get out there and move your body! Nothing will make you feel more sexy than working out!



Reputation by Taylor Swift
Currently digging on the new Tay Tay album. My new favorite is End Game. But also loving This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things. "Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year."  Taylor is at the top of her game... stay tuned for more!

How to Create a Powerful Vision Board

Thank the Lord that it is January. The days are getting longer and spring is on its way! I usually feel a little bittersweet... however, this year I was happy to see move right on down the line. It was a very challenging year personally but there were some major wins as well. I digress on my topic...

The greatest thing about January is that it allows me think about what I am going to visualize for the next year.  What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to go with? What personal goals do I have? What are my health and fitness goals? How do I want to grow my business this year? So many options that it can be overwhelinming on how to begin. The good news is that there is a tried and true method to this madness, it's called a vision board.


While I did not reach all of my goals this year, I am proud of how much work I did personally to overcome some major obstacles in my life. I attended several very powerful personal development seminars that helped me to further my work and understanding of why we live in suffering rather than happiness - more of this to come at VISION 2018. I am so grateful for the experiences I had, my time with friends old and new and all that I have learned.

I also achieved so many things on my vision board but here's the funny thing... many of them came in very unexpected ways. That is the beauty of the process. We want certainty and yet we crave variety. It is the biggest joke the universe plays on us! So as you build your vision board don't get super caught up in the specifics because the universe has a plan for you. You just have to tell it the general direction you want to go. 

As a lifestyle coach, I feel very passionate about assisting my clients in curating a beautiful life and creating a vision board is always part of this work. 

Making a vision board is a important part of my new year planning. It is fun, it is creative and it gets me focused on exactly what I am craving in my life.

Here are a few of my tips for making a vision board that really works. 

#1 Take inventory of what areas of your life you want to focus on.
Is is work, romance, health, food, style, your kids, learning a new talent?  If this was your last year on earth, what would you do? How would you spend your time?  Where would you go?  OK - now you're thinking!  What we put in our minds we curate so better make it what you want. Try and pick only 4-6 areas. And it doesn't have to be a goal but it could be a feeling that you are after. 

#2 Remember to focus on you. 
What are your cravings, desires, needs, feelings, mood and what makes you feel good and happy inside. Do not compare yourself to others as this is YOUR life not theirs. 

#3 Get a notebook out and write down your goal areas and then under each goal list the three things you are going to do in the next 6 months to accomplish this life goal.
This is a VERY important part of the Vision Board Process as writing down your goals and action steps sets your brain up for success.

#4 Get visual
When you are finished with your list, grab some magazines, scissors, a bottle of bubbly or a cup of tea and find images or sayings that help create a visual of your goals. I also like to pick a word for the year. Last year I chose SLAY. I am still working on my word for 2018. 

#5 Make your board
Once you have your images you can begin to put them on the board. I recommend not gluing anything down until you have laid it all out.  You use poster board, a cork board, or whatever will work best for you. Remember it should be beautiful as you need to see this every day and night to remind you of your goals for the year.  Once you are done, snap a photo of it so you have it with you at all times. Also share it with one or many of your girlfriends. This public declaration will again help set the intentions even deeper into your brain.

If you want to create your best year ever, I invite you to partake in VISION 2018 - Feel It Girl!
This 1/2 day workshop will provide you with all of the tools and support you need to seriously SLAY 2018!  Learn more HERE and I do hope in the sprit of self care, you will give yourself the gift of an amazing year filled with everything you desire. 


What are you seeking?

As I begin to talk openly to more and more women these days, through my work, coaching or sharing doTERRA essential oils, there seems to be one reoccurring theme that keeps coming up. No it is not sex, dieting, exercise, sleep, eating better or more time. These are the issues that "start" the conversation, but in the end, when we start to do a deep dive into what they are really feeling, most women admit to feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious or all three. 

I recently attended a wonderful personal development seminar called Heart & Hustle by the amazing Tiffany Peterson. While it was a specific course for doTERRA Wellness Advocates, 80% of the content could be applied to your everyday life. Tiffany is a breast cancer survivor and worked for Franklin Covey the 7 Habits for Highly Effective People, Jack Canfield the author of the Success Principles and the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and for Robert Kiyosaki the author of Rich Dad Pour Dad. She is a personal development Queen! During her course I learned several valuable nuggets to make my life more beautiful and I want to share some of them with you along with my own personal routine for self-care.  

As part of the course, we spent one hour talking about self-care. This seems to be the buzz word of the moment for women, much like the word "growth mindset" in school settings and certain circles of personal developemt. There is a reason the topic of self-care for women keeps coming up over and over again in blogs, seminars, and articles.

The beautiful Tiffany Peterson and me in Salt Lake City

The beautiful Tiffany Peterson and me in Salt Lake City

Today women have taken it all on -  we wanted it all and we got it, except for equal pay but I digress...We are bombarded with so much information, unrealistic images on social media, running kids here and there, woking all day then working all night at home, not enough time, too little sleep, to much sugar, alcohol, and unhealthy food, no time to exercise.  We have an overwhelming need to try to "control" everything. We lack the skills to set healthy boundaries, always saying yes when we want to say no AND we have a a failing health care system that feeds us drug after drug to numb our pain. We are George Jetson on the treadmill yelling loudly "Jane stop this crazy thing" yet no one is coming to our rescue. And I hate to break it to you, no one will but you. 

Don't get me wrong, life is full of ups and downs, highs and lows, pain and pleasure. But I challenge you all today to really ask yourself what are you seeking? The only way to answer that questions to take some time for yourself and do a few simple exercises. I want you to take one hour over this holiday season and sneak away to a quiet place, sit in front of the tree after everyone is in bed or get up before everyone does, go to a coffee shop, have lunch by yourself and do the following things.

1. Create a Joy List - Write dow 10 things that you do to bring you joy then make sure you do one of those things a week.
2. Curate a morning ritual - For me this is waking up 30 mins early to read my daily devotional book called Simple Abundance. My Aunt Susan gave it to me years ago but it is so relevant today. Google Daily Devotional books on Amazon and you will find one just for you. Before you do anything in the morning and I mean ANYTHING, get your coffee or tea and take 10 minutes to read your book by yourself with no distractions. This is your gift to you and it will ground you for what ever is in store for you in your day ahead. 
3. Develop a regular nighttime routine - Go to bed at the same time overnight if you can. Your body needs 7-8 hours of good sleep. You will be amazed what you can do the next day with a good nights sleep. I like to visualize and meditate right before I go to sleep.There are great free guided meditations from the Chopra Center.  Also if you are in need of answers, ask the Universe, God, the Spirit, Source Power or whatever works for you with assistance before you go to sleep. Trust me it will come to you the next morning. Luke 11:9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. This works but you have to ask!! It make not come right away but if you ask it will happen.
4. Let go of trying to control everything. Control is a sexy seductress in our lives. We think that if we can control everything in our lives we will have peace and joy and nothing bad will happen because we are managing it all. Things may go along smoothly for a while but this is just an illusion. You cannot control anything but yourself. We make think we can control others behaviors, thoughts, feelings and outcomes but we cannot. All this leads to is disappointment, and remember that whatever we try to have control over actually has control over us. So as Elisa from Frozen would say "Let it go, Let it go."
5. Create a Vision Board -  What do you want in your life? What are your desires, dreams and cravings? Cut out images of these things and create a vision board that you look at several times a day. Mine is in my bedroom. I look at it while I brush my teeth. It is crazy what I put on my board in January and throughout the year that actually has happened and in very unexpected ways. If you need to better understand the law of attraction, watch the movie The Secret. I watch it every New Year's Eve. 
6. Read the book You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero - This is one of the best personal development books for women and it is peppered with self-care tips and tricks. Also it is super funny and if you like audio books, it is even better because Jen is the one reading it herself so you get a better feel for her personality. You will laugh and you will cry but you will be a better person after reading it. Order it today!!
7. Learn Self-Love - This one is the hardest for all of us and you know it! Get in front of a mirror and tell yourself that you love the woman you see. We are always focused on our flaws. We live in a world of social media with perfect Instagram images flying our way all day. THAT IS NOT REAL LIFE! It is just a snapshot of a moment in time. And people want us to see their fake perfect life. Everybody and I mean everybody has their own shit so I ask that you start to focus on your strengths and not your shortcomings. Say it to yourself as you look in the mirror. "I love you for your beauty and strength and keeping the whole household together" and whatever else it is you rock at. Do it morning and night. Want some more assistance with this? Read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. 

I am going to stop here for two reasons. One, I do not want to overwhelm you on your self-care journey and two, 7 is my lucky number! Please, please please remember that this is the season of joy and celebration. We all have had so much personal pain and tragedy in our lives, our country and the world this year. It is time for each and everyone of you to take the time and curate your personal ritual for a respite from your daily life. Do this and you will be greatly rewarded.