I just returned from my bi-yearly trip to Seattle for my surveillance screening at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. It was a particularly emotional visit as I also recently completed the last of my surgeries for reconstruction - 9 surgeries in total over the last 4 1/2 years. This will be my first summer in 2 years of no surgery! I am now just managing this situation (I refuse to call it an illness) with MRI's and a meeting with my oncologist every six months for the next 4 years.
I show up for my appointment and am immediately directed to head down the street to a parking lot to a mobile MRI unit as they are replacing the current MRI machine with a newer model in the building. It is at this point that I always begin to be fearful that they will find a reoccurrence of my cancer. It is the only time I allow myself to really think about it. My personal directive is that I am not allowed to think of it, talk about it reoccurring and I am NEVER allowed to dwell on or it or use it as an excuse to not do something in my life.
The good news is that I had another clean scan and am good to go for six months. I felt such gratitude as I skipped out of SCCA to go meet my girlfriends for celebratory Champagne in Bellevue. This of course was all pre-arranged as I wanted that in the universe even before I had my MRI.
On my drive over and back to Seattle, I was listening to the audio book You are a Badass for the second time. If you have not read this book, order it today. It has incredibly relevant and helpful information you can use immediately to make your life more beautiful. The author Jen Sincero narrates the book and is hysterically funny! I promise you will laugh your ass off when you read it.
The book is really all about loving yourself and tapping into the awesomeness of the universe as it will provide all that we desire - but only if we know how to access it.
Towards the end of the book (which was playing on my way home from Seattle) Jen talks about the concept of fear vs. faith and what it means to be a follower of either.
The concept here is very simple. It is your mindset that will keep you in fear or it can set you free with faith. Living in fear is living in the future and it is the largest food supply for anxiety. Fear is the emotion that causes us to shrink who we are, hide, not show up for our lives, underachieve, disappoint ourselves and others and it WILL control your life and everything in it if you let it. It can creep in a little bit at a time or take you over like a tidal wave. Many people may have an issue with the word "faith" and attach some sort of religious meaning to it. However, I believe that we all can use the word faith to mean that if we trust in the awesome power of the universe it will give us all we desire. It really doesn't matter as long as you have faith and not some half- ass version of it.
It occurred to me that living in faith is the way I approached my diagnosis with cancer 4 1/2 years ago. I did not research it that much, I did not get a second opinion, I worked full time and then some up until the day I had my surgery to remove 3 of my ribs, my peck muscle and ½ of my sternum. I basically told it to F-OFF and dove in as I was determined to live so that I could raise my children who were 9 and 13 at the time. I never joined a support group, I did not spend time internet surfing trying to connect with other people who had this very rare tumor. Nope, I forged on through 8 more surgeries and I feel great. Was it easy? Hell no! It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I NEVER saw or felt that there was any other option than to not only survive but to thrive. See I didn't want to give it any energy. I believe by not giving it any energy, I have been able to ward off another reoccurrence, AND so does my doctor.
When I am fearful, I invite my mama bear persona to come forward with a very swift physical action and I literally tell fear to get the hell out! I thank it but tell it that it no longer serves me. I prefer to live in faith and the reality that everything I ask for will come to fruition.
Remember, where the mind goes, energy flows. So if you are living in consistent fear, you got it...the things you fear will happen to you. The choice is up to you. So, are you going to be a follower of fear or a follower of faith?
Here is my challenge for you this week. Do 1 thing every day that you fear. Begin to strengthen your faith muscles. Set the intention that whatever you are fearful of will work out and then just go for it. If you want some faith superpower, imagine the that you have already conquered your fears and visualize yourself on the other side of that fear. Turst me this is much easier than you think.
And just for fun, watch this funny video of Will Smith talking about letting go of fear.
P.S. Want to talk about how to get over your fears and have a more beautiful life? Then book your seat at my GNO Dinner on July 29th. It will be an incredible night filled with wine, amazing women and juicy conversations. Click Here to reserve your ticket today!