Why marrying the prince is not alway a good idea

If you were raised when I was, you were watching Disney movies every Sunday night at 7:00 pm right after Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom bathed, PJs on ready for bed with a bowl of freshly made popcorn.

Growing up in the 70's and 80's as a girl was a strange time. There were so many mixed messages sent to us young impressionable women. For example, you can have it all, you can bring home the bacon$$ and of course make dinner for everyone. Then after you worked all day, you made dinner for the family, got the kids to bed, cleaned the house, did some laundry, you were supposed to slip into your sexy nighty and "make your man feel like a man." Sweet Jesus, it makes me tired to even think about what I just wrote! 

The woman's movement was confusing because what was happening in society did not mimic what we were watching on TV and what was happening in our homes.  Women were fighting to have the same rights and respect as men but we still had to pick up most of the responsibility for the housework and caring for the kids even if we worked full or part time. I saw my own mother struggle with this. Totally unfair.  Today the wage gap is still a thing and yet we as women are more focused on our thigh gap. Head scratcher...

But we still all watched those Disney movies and dreamed of being rescued by our very own Prince Charming. Hey I won't lie, I loved Frozen!  We still want to be swept off our feet and whisked off to the castle to live happily ever after while little birds and animals sing to us. Well so far the only people I know who that has worked for is William and Kate. Go William and Kate! You have to admit they are really cute.

My ex-husband had once been dubbed as "The Prince of Walla Walla" by a very famous wine publication right after he left me as I was recovering from chest wall cancer.  Now I could take this post in a few different directions,  however, my point here is that marrying the "prince" is not alway your smartest move. I did and he left when I needed him the most. 

I believe that wanting the prince implies that we need to be "rescued" in some way. It implies that we need someone else to take care of us. It implies that we will sit at his side and be an accessory in his life and not live ours. Now I love me a good romantic movie any day,  but I think we need to focus on rescuing ourselves FIRST rather than waiting for Prince Charming to ride in on a white horse and take us to some fairytale life that he has created. 

I am not suggesting at all that we don't need anyone in our lives. Our lives would not be as fulfilled without partners, kids, friends, family and even co-workers. 

What I am suggesting today, is that we focus on ourselves though self-care, being independent and making our own dreams come true. This will make us better women, mothers, friends and partners because when we are fulfilling our own desires and taking care of ourselves we have something to actually bring back to these relationships. Not some tired cranky woman who wants roll over and go to sleep in her ratty t-shirt and shorts.

I hear from so many women who struggle with the concept of balance in their lives. Finding time to recharge in their ever busy days. Well you have to take that time first and protect it like a mother bear, otherwise you are screwed because there is always someone or something in your life that will eat that time right up!

When you make self-care and self-love a priority, your life will flourish. How do you do this you ask?  I am going to give you a 7 day self-care challenge that will help you practice your self-care skills. Each day do the following and I would recommend writing it down.

  • Drink 8 glasses of water- set your phone timer to remind you each hour
  • Fuel your body with healthy food- cut out the sugar ladies!
  • Move your body in some way other than housework
  • Do one thing just for you
  • Read something you enjoy for 30 minutes
  • Connect with a friend via email, phone or in person
  • Write down 5 things you are grateful for each night

Nothing hard here. I  just want you to get in the habit of self-care through these easy steps. You my friend will not need Prince Charming to take care of you becasue you are doing the job just fine!

Heidi Wells